Five Easy Drinks To Get Her Panties Off
Women are different from us. Many don’t want straight bourbon on the rocks. Others don’t want to spend the day polishing off a case of beer. And, rightly so, most men would rather drink out of the bathroom urinal than have one of the watery, bright green drinks that pass as a martini nowadays.
If you are going to mix up some drinks, you might as well enjoy them yourself while impressing your female guest. These five drinks are strong enough for you, but sweet and/or exotic enough to keep her interested, hopefully until the bottle falls empty to the floor along with her clothing.
The White Russian satisfies many requirements: sweet, fashionable, and strong as hell. Like most drinks on this list, don’t order it in a bar. You will get a watered down waste of money and time that was most likely mixed in a huge container earlier in the day.
The key to a good white Russian is proportion: half vodka, a quarter Kahlua and a quarter ½ and ½ cream or milk. Add a splash of coke to make it even better.
- ½ Vodka
- ¼ Kahlua
- ¼ cream or milk
- a splash of Coca-Cola
Put vodka in anything and it is good. My girl especially likes vodka and sprite. Vodka and cranberry juice is great, but to make it even more female-friendly top it off with some white grapefruit juice. Then you have a Seabreeze.
- 1/3 Vodka
- 4/6 Cranberry Juice
- 1/6 White Grapefruit Juice
For the exotic-yet-easy, we come to the Caipirinha from Brazil. Women are impressed by all things Brazilian – even the word has a sexy feel to it, conjuring images of pumping dance music and tiny, sweaty bikinis. So apply this vibe to a sweet but ridiculously strong drink and you are good to go.
Caipirinhas use cachaca, Brazilian sugar cane booze. Most likely you won’t find it or will be too cheap to buy it, so vodka or light rum makes a good substitute.
Wash and cut up limes into small pieces. Fill about half a glass with them. Spoon in sugar to taste – I don’t like too much myself – and then crush the limes with a pestle or any blunt object. Then add ice – crushed or not – and vodka. That’s right, all booze, nothing else. If the first sip makes her cringe, sneak in some more sugar.
- ½ glass crushed, cut limes
- 1-3 spoon fulls of sugar
- Cachasa or vodka or light rum
Perhaps less exotic than the Caparihna but even easier, the Paloma from Mexico is a great way to enjoy tequila. You don’t need a blender or some weird overpriced mix, just some Squirt, a lime, and salt. This is maybe the most popular tequila drink in Mexico, though still largely unknown north of the border.
- 1/3 Tequila
- ½ fresh squeezed lime
- Salt on glass rim
Now, this might not be a favorite with all women. Tomato juice turns some people off. So does drinking in the morning. The trick here is that inviting a new girl over for drinks at night might be suspicious – do it at lunch, with the sun shining, and it might just be intriguing enough to be irresistible.
Of the drinks on my list, the Bloody Mary gives you the most options for variety. Basically it is tomato juice and vodka, but then add celery salt, Tabasco sauce, and Worcestershire sauce to taste. Then stick in a pickle, or a celery stick, or anything you want – I’ve even seen meatsticks and shrimp skewers.
It goes well with an ice-cold beer out on the porch on a hot morning.
- 1/3 vodka
- 2/3 tomato juice
- celery salt
- splash of Worcestershire sauce
- splash of Tabasco sauce
- pickle/celery stick/etc.