What the Cluck is World Egg Day?

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Yeah, don’t feel too badly if you haven’t heard of it, either. Apparently, it’s been wobbly-rolling around since 1996 (yeah, 16 years and I’ve just now discovered its…um… worth?) and, according to this site (thinkegg.com), its lofty goals are to potentially feed the entire world. With eggs. Seems legit. Oh, and it’s today.

But what do other, completely-made-up-sounding websites say about this amazingly singular ‘holiday’? You’re no doubt asking yourself. Well, I’ll tell you. Because hey, if it weren’t for the internet, I’d wager a bet that not a single person anywhere would even concern themselves with World Egg Day. Anyway, let’s check out what the fine folks at the International Egg Commission have to say. And no, I am not making that up. Their goal, though similar to thinkegg.com, is to tout the myriad ways we can cook and serve the tasty, versatile, and healthy unfertilized chicken fetus. Guess what’s for dinner every day at the IEC?

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I wonder if there’s a World Poultry corporation and if there is, I have to ponder their feelings on World Egg Day. Well guess what, me… and anyone else whose mind works in stupid ways, there IS a World Poultry corporation and website, and their stance is as follows: “We have publicly pledged to work with food organizations and developing nations to help provide access to eggs for everyone.” Aren’t birds pretty much everywhere? Why does it have to be chicken eggs? Are there major differences between eggs of specific birds? Do I honestly give a shit? The answer to those questions is simple: I don’t know.

It should come as no surprise that incredibleegg.com has some knowledge to lay (get it? Lay?) down, too. In fact, “America’s egg farmersĀ help educate people about where eggs come from.” Wait, what? Are there people on this planet who honestly don’t know where eggs come from? I can practically guarantee even the most ass-backward aboriginal jungle people have seen some kind of avian critter dropping a few eggs here and there. Okay, fine, most reptiles, a few amphibians, and even two or three mammals lay eggs, too, but let’s face it: they know what birds eggs are edible and which ones aren’t. Where eggs come from… that’s just stupid. Mine come from echidnas.

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So, I guess it turns out that this World Egg Day is a pretty big deal after all. What I propose is we gather as many people together as we can, buy up a couple hundred dozen eggs, and get into the World’s biggest Egg Fight! Can you imagine all those flying ovoids smashing all over everyone and oozing all over the ground while hungry people who like eggs a whole lot stand idly by and watch the whole wasted mess go down? Man, that sounds really fun. But, if for some reason you’d rather not waste this completely renewable commodity (think about it: chickens never stop laying eggs… ever!) then let’s think recipes instead. Novisint.com offers up a few you might not have tried: like Virgin Eggs or Balut! Okay, I’m kidding. But still… yuck.

Alright, so… enjoy World Egg Day, I guess. Eat a shitload of poached, hard boiled, sunny-side-up, or souffles and get your egg fix. I’m gonna go decorate my egg tree and write a letter to the Big Egg in hopes of getting egg gifts! Yay, Egg Day!

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