Bad, Bad Meat

meat1

If you are a red-blooded American, then there’s a good chance that you, my friend, love you some meat. Americans, per capita, eat more meat than anyone else on Earth (actual numbers may vary). We love meat, we can get meat, and we can eat us some damn meat. But, it wasn’t always pretty.

It wasn’t too long ago, back in the 50′s, that American’s meat looked more like the shit that would have left the slaughtered animal than the deleiciousness that was the meat itself. Perhaps it had something to do with the photos, or the printing, or maybe it was the photographers themselves who were likely closet vegetarians or Communists, that made the ad images look like vomit. Either way, the pictures of yore that featured meat resembled zoom shots of 70′s-era pornos and the fact that we, as Americans, even ate meat at all is a bit of a surprise.

Well, fortunately, meat has looked tasty for quite a while. Ads featuring meat look appetizing, entice the desire to actually consume the product, and don’t promote immediate retching. Still, nothing scream nostalgia than taking a look at what meat used to look like. Bad, bad meat…

weirdgirl

Frankly, I'd rather eat the napkin.

American Meat Institute 19570511 Post 560x717

"Hey hon... have you seen mom around?"

american meat institute can charcoal

Sorry, we're out of meat. We do have charcoal though!

meat

If your burgers are that greasy, you need to cut back on the chipmunk.

meat ad

Madge. Portrait of a serial killer.

American Meat Institute 19460701 Life

Um... So, what do we got here: pigeon, Gefilte Fish, some beans or something... I'm not hungry.

carving

When you're serving Mekong River Dolphin, please carve responsibly.

CheffBoyMeatBallSundae

No. They don't. They think it's a punishment.

meat47hands 560x729

Tammy's nails matched the freshly slaughtered lamb's meat to a T.

meat ad 1

"Um, Ted? You know you're cutting into your arm, right? Ted?"

meatballs 560x717

Sadly, that's one serving.

meatbook

This is actually a still pic from the movie Cannibal Holocaust.

meat za pizza 780268 560x767

Sometimes, I find that mere words fail me utterly. This is one of those times.

saucecanmeat

If this was ever 'what's for dinner' in your house growing up, I hope you brutally murdered your parents.

shitloadofmeat

Wow, healthy kids and room-temperature meat? That's livin'!

spampeach 560x1206

*door slams, sounds of explosive vomiting follow*

Treet Luncheon Meat Ad 1957

Hell. No.

White&Pineapple Pringles John-Wayne-Walding Gordon Old-Guinness Burger STK466792

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